Observations

President Joseph Fielding Smith declared:

"Mormonism, as it is called, must stand or fall on the story of Joseph Smith. He was either a prophet of God, divinely called, properly appointed and commissioned, or he was one of the biggest frauds this world has ever seen. There is no middle ground. If Joseph Smith was a deceiver, who willfully attempted to mislead the people, then he should be exposed; his claims should be refuted, and his doctrines shown to be false, for the doctrines of an impostor cannot be made to harmonize in all particulars with divine truth. If his claims and declarations were built upon fraud and deceit, there would appear many errors and contradictions, which would be easy to detect." (Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 1, p. 188).

I believe the truths discussed here show conclusively that the LDS church is not the "only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth with which . . . the Lord [is] well pleased" (D&C 1:30).

Some proclaim that Joseph was a deliberate fraud, while others deem him sincere in the belief that his revelations were genuine. In his unpublished history, Joseph said that when the angel first arrived to tell him of the plates, he thought it was a dream but later changed his mind. (Joseph Smith Letter Book, November 22, 1832 through August 4, 1835 as referenced in Reconsidering No Man Knows My History, p. 77). Perhaps he did have actual dreams pertaining to the first vision and angelic visitations which he came to interpret as literal physical events. It is easy to see how an individual with a creative mind and a strong mystical bent could eventually have experiences such as day visions and inspirations, which provided the foundation for his so-called revelations. The same may be said of those that worked closely with him. For example Stephen Burnett described in 1838 how Martin Harris, a few weeks earlier, said in a public meeting in Kirtland:

" . . . that he never saw the plates with his natural eyes only in vision or imagination, neither Oliver nor David [Whitmer]." (Letter from Stephen Burnett to "Br. [Lyman?] Johnson," April 15, 1838, in Joseph Smith Letter Book, p. 2)

On the other hand, the reference to physical plates by some of the witnesses and scribes suggests a deliberate attempt to manufacture a convincing replica in order to mislead those that saw them up close. For example, Emma would feel the plates under their covering when she moved them to dust the table. According to her description:

"They seemed to be pliable like thick paper and would rustle with a metallic sound when the edges were moved by the thumb as one does sometimes thumb the edges of a book." (Saints Herald, Vol. 26 (October 1, 1879), p. 289)

I don't know the answer to the question about Joseph's sincerity, but the implications are the same in either case: the facts deny the absolute authority and doctrinal integrity of the church which he founded. Are there still benefits to be derived from Mormonism? I think so, but there are also pitfalls. I no longer believe the Mormon church's claim that exaltation can only be achieved through its precepts and ordinances. And I cannot with integrity belong to such a church, given the facts discussed here.

Many Mormons will dismiss this information because of their testimony that the church is true. I did so myself for years. Some will want to know the "real" reason I left the church, doubting my sincerity when I say it is because I no longer believe it is true. I feel at peace and happy with my decision. I rejoice in the personal growth I've seen since making it. I compare my experience to a young bird that has just pecked his way out of the shell. I stand now surrounded by shell fragments, and could not return to the dark comfort of my shell even I wanted to do so. My only option is try out my new wings and see where they take me.

As William Gardiner stated so eloquently:

"Belief systems, especially religious systems of dogma, often transcend the need for evidence, and are based on such intangibles as faith, feelings, magic, myth, tradition, hope, fear, etc. Further, such belief systems are often a mixture of both myth and truth, mixed with their idiosyncrasies, thus diminishing from the black and white nature, or 'easiness' of discerning a clear sense of truth.

"A television documentary shows Hindus in India wiping the fresh urine of cows from the ground with their hands and anointing their heads with it. The belief that the cow's urine is holy and such anointing will bring blessing to the anointed is the apparent belief system. Could any amount of evidence ever disprove to these believing Hindus that this belief is simply erroneous? Probably not. And, even if cow urine is not holy and has no inherent positive qualities to grace the anointee, can the belief alone bring the potential of blessing or some positive outcome to the recipient? Perhaps. Could the evidence of deleterious effects disprove the truth of such a belief system? If it were scientifically proven that anointing one's head with cow urine had a significant chance of bacterial contamination leading to sickness or even death, would such evidence cause adherents to discontinue the belief--or the practice? Probably not.

"When speaking of evidence we might look to legal thought to examine our primary question. The legal system has adopted subjective and qualitative measures of evidence leading to definitions of "truth" or reality. Subjectively, a preponderance of evidence might be quantified as evidence that exceeds 50% surety. Clear and convincing evidence might be quantified as 65% sure, while beyond any reasonable doubt raises the standard to 85% surety.

"Mormons get very good at compartmentalizing reality. Something that doesn't fit is carefully swept aside, out of consciousness with the vague idea that somehow there must be an explanation for that. 'We just don't know it now.' For the typical Mormon, as he or she grows up in the church many experiences, thoughts and beliefs are swept underneath this carpet somewhere in their minds."

I will conclude with a few quotes that represent my approach to truth. In using the mind God has given me to discern truth from error, as opposed to trusting others to tell me what is true, there can be no condemnation.

"While spiritual insight or faith is one valid measure in spiritual matters, true spiritual insight never directly contradicts valid intellectual insight or facts in the physical world. Faith may go beyond reason, but does not go against it. It never blatantly contradicts the facts which we perceive with our God-given common sense. Faith and fact point in a single direction. Whey they do not, something is seriously wrong . . . A willingness to accept facts as they exist, and to learn to use them to test the views one holds rather than falling back on subjective experience or rationalizations, is the first step towards discovering genuine truth." (Charles Larson, By His Own Hand Upon Papyrus, pp. 177-178)

"I am surer that my rational nature is from God, than that any book is an expression of his will." - William Ellery Channing

"Sit down before fact like a little child, and be prepared to give up every preconceived notion, follow humbly wherever and to whatever abyss Nature leads, or you shall learn nothing." - T. H. Huxley